Geeklet

She looks angelic when she's asleep.

2010-06-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Graduation

2010-05-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

The end of the semester is always a rough time for me, and this semester - on the whole - has been particularly difficult, for various personal reasons I won't be blogging about, but which some of my readers may already know. All this culminated in a very real panic that I would not pass several of my classes.

Well, to be honest, I do that every semester. Every semester, I internally panic that I may shortly fail something - anything, even if I have gotten relatively good grades all semester. Something could go wrong - maybe I did more poorly on something than I had thought. Maybe I had not remembered to do something. Maybe the professor just plain hates my guts. Either way, I was rolling in anxiety and depression for a good four weeks about "I am not going to pass, I am not going to graduate, I am not going to walk and everybody I know will be horridly disappointed and hate me for the rest of my life."

I did well. The truth is, I did better this semester than I had in the few previous. All of my panic, all of my fears were for nothing. My boyfriend keeps teasing me and saying, "I told you so." I'll let that one slide, since it's a positive.

The stress for grades is finally finished - I can relax until my masters degree. I just need to do a May Term of Statistics (blech!) and then I'm free to start thinking about my next karate testing which, mark my words, will not be this summer.

And maybe I'll read a good book.

Tea - The Perfect Gift

2010-04-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

My church is the sweetest. After expressing sadness during announcements, they presented Amy and I with a reception, balloons and gifts. They told Amy and I that we were to wait until we get back to our dorms, lest we be embarrassed by the gifts.

Amy got a journal and a fountain pen - I'm really excited that they're bringing into the wonderful world of fine pens! There is nothing more satisfying than allowing your hand to drift over the paper with such an easy flow of ink...aah, she's going to really enjoy it. I'll have to send her good links on where to find bottle ink, converters and cartridges.

As you can see, they got me a Yixing tea set - swans, aren't they so cute? - and Teavana's Tranquil Dream (Night Night) herbal tea. I don't remember ever telling them my interest in loose-leaf teas, but they seem to have noticed that my standard response to "how are you?" has become either "sleepy" or "tired". The choice of tea most certainly makes some sense!

And the tea is very yummy. To me, it smells like creamsicles, but tastes completely different. I was rather surprised at the smell, because orange-y things are typically considered a breakfast item. However, the taste is very good. The first cup, I added a very tiny bit of sugar - not even half a spoon - and wasn't entirely sure liked it. However, the second cup after a day tasted wonderful, and I didn't even need to sprinkle it with sugar, which is great, since I really ought to cut down on my sugar intake!

I made the tea in my wonderful IngenuiTEA, because Yixing teapots are meant to absorb the taste of the teas you brew in it, and it is recommended to use it only with one type. I'm thinking earl grey, since I'm such a terribly big fan of the stuff.

Having made this tea, I was reminded of the tea samplers I've all but neglected over the past year. My family already thinks I'm crazy, and pulling out the loose leaf teas and IngenuiTEA send them for a bit of a loop. Why would I use loose-leaf tea, when I could just go to the store, get bagged tea, and save myself all that trouble?

Because I'm weird, that's why! And furthermore, you raised me this way!

*Ahem!*

Anyways, I pulled out my vanilla and mango samplers and mixed them together. That's the great thing about loose leaf teas - you can blend them together. The mango and vanilla by Adagio mixed together was wonderful! Again, I didn't need any type of sugars which, considering how much sugar I typically use per cup, is quite surprising.

In other words, the gift was absolutely wonderful and appreciated - and will be used to help de-stress at night from finals. The Yixing pot is beautiful, the tea is tasty and calming, and has reminded me of my quest for yummy tea.

Spock Retires

2010-04-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

So, it's official. Leonard Nimoy is retiring. I read somewhere once, in some long-forgotten article, or saw on some documentary - anyway, I heard it somewhere - that no one thought that Mr. Spock would become such a beloved character. Of course, I'm not entirely sure they expected Star Trek to make it the way it did, but there it is.

I won't lie - I'm not a terribly huge fan of the original series. I know, I know - I'm less of a Star Trek fan, not a real Star Trek fan, I shame the name of Trekkie, I'm lower than the low, scum, probably even liked that late pretender-to-the-name tv-show called Enterprise! - but the special effects are just too much for me. Except for the tribbles, of course.

Regardless, if it was on the sci-fi channel, it got Tivo'd, and we watched it. It's dad's favorite series, after all. He grew up on it.

I would stand and watch it, cross my arms and roll my eyes at the absolutely ridiculous special affects, some of the "acting" and the fairly curious story-lines. But Spock I liked.

I don't know why Spock was my favorite. Maybe because he didn't act as arrogantly as Kirk. Maybe because Mr. Nimoy didn't over-act in the same way as some of the others. Maybe because he was so logical and aloof - the exact opposite of my own ENFJ/Phobic 6 overemotional behaviors - and I wished I could be that. After all, I liked Seven of Nine for similar reasons.

Of all the Star Trek actors, Spock is the most iconic. He even took part in the most recent Star Trek film, in essence giving his blessing to Zachary Quinto and the whole new Alternative Universe series.

I hope he has a great retirement. He deserves one, and (of course,) I hope he lives long and prospers.

"We Didn't Know"

2010-04-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

I'm sure we've all by now heard about the suicide-bullying incident from several weeks ago. I hear a lot about "oh, the school should have done something!" because everyone seems to assume that would have somehow worked, somehow affected change in the bullies.

I was bullied in school. A lot. I remember coming home crying in elementary school because they other kids were so brutal - even my 6th grade teacher got involved, to the point where another little girl went home to her own mother, crying about how I was being treated. Jr. High and High School were different stories, but the bullying never really ended. I was an outsider, I was different, and nobody would damn well let me forget it.

The problem with, "the administration should have done something" is that it's absolutely ridiculous. You can bring something to their attention, but it won't help. The teachers, principals and what-have-you can do everything in their power, but nothing is going to change. Because the students don't want to change.

Of course, stagnancy and apathy are, by far, not the worst reactions students could have to administrative involvement. I (and I'm sure many others,) know from painful experience that it just gets worse. You are not only an outsider, someone to be harassed and mistreated, but now you've broken the official us-vs.-them code of the students (the "them" being the adults.) You're worse than before - not just that outsider, but scum more worthy of pain than ever before.

I have no answer for solving the bullying issue. I wish there was an answer, wish I could offer some hope. All I can offer is the cold and simple fact that what we think should work, doesn't. Teachers are sometimes complicit in harassment, as was my case, sometimes apathetic and most of the time, though their hearts are in the right place, completely unable to help without doing more damage than good.

My Paper on Marriage Equality (WARNING: LIBERALNESS AHEAD)

2010-03-23T08:06:00.000-07:00

Marriage Equality

Abstract:

Christianity has struggled with many issues over the years, but the current topic of choice seems to be homosexuality and gay marriage. Indeed, one Times article claims, "The trouble [...] is not just an America where general support for gay marriage will have driven a wedge between churches and the world, but between churches themselves" (Deanne Fitzmaurice 2009).

Christians need to make a move, and that move ought to be towards an affirmation of homosexual love between adult individuals. We ought not to look at Scriptures as condemning loving relationships, and we need not read the Scriptures as somehow affirming homophobia, oppression and inequality. Instead, we ought to see Scripture as moving towards a radical conception of basic equality between all peoples and as affirming of love - both as act and as emotion.

By looking at the actual causes of homosexuality and the context of both homophobia and the objection to same sex marriage, we may be able to understand why our culture and churches are so divide. Reading the supposedly homophobic passages in the Bible, and by looking at the overall idealistic notions of the Scriptures, perhaps we can move towards an understanding of what Scripture does and does not say about homosexuality. We must also research the context of homosexuality and homophobia in our culture.

The Context

Homosexuality is viewed as one of the biggest cultural hot-button issues of our time. It is dividing denominations and dividing churches (Lindenberger 2009). Conservatives are afraid that those denominations without a strong conservative religious base will "abandon biblical truth and bless what the Bible condemns" (Lindenberger 2009) Certainly, these individuals in the Conservative Christian Subculture feel very strongly about the Biblical mandate regarding homosexual behavior, but it seems a very selective use of scripture towards a very selected group of other individuals.

In her article Sexual Taboos and Social Boundaries, sociologist Christie Davies argues that this religious homophobia is not necessarily a religious issue at all, but an issue of boundary formation. She argues that "the strong taboos against homosexuality ... that exist in many Western societies are the result of attempts to establish and defend strong ethnic, religious, or institutional boundaries" and that by breaking this sexual taboo by being homosexual or engaging in homosexual activity, the individual is not just injuring himself or another person, but the entire community (Davies 1982).

When society views a social institution as being in some sort of danger, such as the institution marriage, the boundary line between acceptable and unacceptable are more clearly drawn, and selective use of scripture becomes much more prevalent (Davies 1982). In short, homosexuality threatens masculinity and patriarchy as standard in both ancient and modern culture, and therefore commonly considered intolerable (The Harper Collins Study Bible 2006). It is thus important to understand all Biblical passages condemning homosexuality in light of this fear and boundary formation.

According to Mr. Harry A. Woggon, homosexuality should not be viewed as immoral or somehow deviant (Woggon 1981). In his view, homosexuality is no more normal or abnormal than blonde hair is to brown hair, or blue eyes to green eyes; homosexuality is normative for those who are of that orientation, and the individual is in no way responsible for their orientation (Woggon 1981).

Therefore, it is ill-fitting to discuss homosexuality as being not normal. It is important for churches to recognize that scripture discussing men giving up "natural relations for unnatural ones" as shown in Romans 1:26 is not really talking about persons who are naturally inclined towards homosexuality, but about persons who are of a heterosexual inclination participating in acts of homosexuality (Woggon 1981).

The Norm:

The first Scriptural norm comes from Genesis 2:24, which states "Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh." (NRSV) However, in this context they are not actually aware of their sexuality (The Harper Collins Study Bible 2006)).

Earlier, God stated that it was not good for man to be alone and decides that man should have a helpmate (Genesis 2:18). In Genesis 2:23, Adam expresses a kinship bond with the woman. These two Biblical passages together express the importance of a helper and a kin, that is, a relationship (The Harper Collins Study Bible 2006). This would make the norm of the relationship the emotional bonding, rather than the sexual bonding.

Ephesians 5:25-33 is likewise not necessarily about sexual relations, but about an emotional love. While the section regarding becoming one denotes sexual relations, most of the passage speaks of emotional and active love, rather than sexual relations.

Marriage is, therefore, a relationship which is helpful to both individuals, which is loving. It is emotional, it is active and it can be sexual.

Another norm which we must incorporate is the concept of radical equality as presented by Paul in Galatians 3:27-28: "

As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus."

If there is neither male nor female, then there can also be neither straight nor gay. It is important to apply this concept of equality in Christ to all persons, not merely the specifically stated combinations. Otherwise, it is very possible to miss the point that no one is better than anyone else, and this includes individuals who self identify as heterosexual over homosexual.

Middle Axioms / Guidelines for Social Change:

If we want to create marriage equality for all persons, we must acknowledge that persons of a homosexual orientation are not intrinsically sinful or otherwise disordered. We must get the information out there, and we must start with our churches. If anyone ought to be teaching what Paul taught - that there is neither slave nor free, neither Jew nor Greek, neither male nor female, and that all are one in Christ by baptism - it is us. The church ought to be the bastion of equality and safety, and instead we find many among us to be the progenitors of hatred and prejudice.

We need to recognize that for "ten percent of the population the normal expression of love is in a homosexual way, toward persons of the same sex" (Woggon 1981). Better education in health classes, biology classes, psychology classes and sociology classes could assist in this endeavor towards understanding, though there would certainly be repercussions from homophobic parents.

Ultimately, gay marriage ought to be fully accepted as equal to and the same as marriage for heterosexual couples. Marriage is about being not alone, and about finding a helpmate; it is about an emotional bond and mutual dependence. To focus on the sexual aspects of the relationship does a disservice to the emotional aspect, from which sexual relations extend. After all, "sexuality can be a vehicle for sharing love and tenderness and expressing in human terms a hint and a shadow of that love between man and God" (Woggon 1981).

Bibliography

Davies, Christie. "Sexual Taboos and Social Boundaries." The American Journal of Sociology, 1982: 1032-1263.

Deanne Fitzmaurice, Corbis. Time In partnership With CNN. April 16, 2009. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1893955,00.html (accessed March 6, 2010).

Lindenberger, Michael A. Time In partnership With CNN. April 26, 2009. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1893955,00.html (accessed March 5, 2010).

The Harper Collins Study Bible. San Francisco: HarperOne, 2006.

Woggon, Harry. "A Biblical and Historical Study of Homosexuality." Journal of Religion and Health, 1981: 156-163.

Really?

2009-12-10T09:24:00.001-08:00

Lunch. Today. Not 5 minutes ago.

We were discussing a situation wherein one of our friends broke up with his girlfriend.

The reaction of the guy at our table: "Is she attractive?"

Are you kidding me? Is that the only thing you value in a woman? That is ridiculous and offensive. And what in the hell does her appearance have to do with this discussion.

You are a pig and, yet again...

Cute.

2009-12-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

So, in my Sociology of Gender class,we read this book. It's called Female Chauvinist Pigs and The Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy. It's a wonderful book, and I really did enjoy it, but I have one question.

Why is this the cover?

Why is mudflap girl, complete with pointy nipples, on the cover of a book about how raunch culture is detrimental to women and modern feminism?

I'll admit - it's a great eyecatcher of a book cover - but isn't there something wrong with this picture? Isn't this using raunch culture to sell a book on raunch culture? All does not seem well in Oz.

Not So Cool

2009-12-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

"You can't kill Christians, but it's okay to kill non-Christians." - Girl on Campus

Yeah, that's right. Jesus died so you can kill non-Christians. Now, you all know.

Goodbye, My Beloved Moleskine.

2009-10-23T14:26:00.000-07:00

Today is the end of a relationship, a year-long relationship made of creativity, frustration and short bursts of inspiration, all wrapped up in one black notebook.

You see, I don't normally finish the things I begin. I write stories, I draw pictures, and then I promptly destroy them, delete them, throw them in the trashcan...to say I am destructive is a true understatement.

Regardless, this notebook, the one pictured here? It made it. In November, it will be one year old since its birth - its first words. Of course, I will finish writing in it tonight, as there will not be enough paper left for me to finish anything I should begin writing tomorrow.

The moment is almost sorrowful - I'm sorry to see it get shelved, with its finished pages, and the sticky-notes marking my favorite scenes. But of course, there is also joy, the joy of a new beginning. I will make a new friend, form a new relationship, and eventually it, too, will end.

No one will get to read it as I'm fairly protective of my writing. But I will open it again, when I decide to mold together the various scenes and reform them into my first finished draft of the book I hope to one day publish.

Jesus Didn't Tell You To Be A Jerk

2009-09-08T16:45:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite Pagan groups is having a gathering near my home. I've been friends with them since HS; they are absolute dears and are very excited about their gathering and events.

About half of the local shop-owners are closing shop - do they even know how many of their customers are Pagan, or at least not Christian? Would they close on a regular day if they knew?

Some local Christian groups are fasting for the week and setting up prayer vigils and will be protesting during the day of the event. My friend is very nervous and upset about this - can you imagine setting something up like that, only to have to deal with protesters?

She and her group will be in my prayers, and I ask for your prayers as well. Prayers that the event will be fun for all, and that any protests which occur will remain peaceful and calm.

I don't remember Jesus telling anyone to be a jerk. What I do remember Jesus saying is "In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets" (Matthew 7:12, NRSV).

I would want others to stand up for my rights, for my religious freedom. I will stand up for theirs.

Exciting!

2009-09-02T04:41:00.001-07:00

For my Research Methods II course, I get to choose a project of my choice. Anything I want - are you scared yet?

So far, I'm thinking of doing a project on Reconstructive/Revivalist Paganism. I happen to know a few of them, and have been researching the groups since high school. This is very exciting for me, because I would love to write about it, eventually. Modern Paganism in general seems to be (so far as I can tell,) an ignored area of study, and most, I would wager, haven't even heard of "reconstructionism" or any of the more specific subgroups. Heck, I wouldn't say I know most of the subgroups.

I'd really like to do qualitative interviews of...well...a whole bunch of 'em, but we'll see how specific I ought to get.

The only real fear I have is my own personal religious affiliation, and whether or not that would have some affect on their view and trust of me as an (amateur,) researcher.

We'll see what happens. I need to schedule a meeting with our only Anthropology professor and see what his recommendations are for me, and then I need to start hypothesizing and coming up with questions and what it is I want to measure. Either way, I'm really excited and can't wait to get going, here!

Gender Assignments

2009-09-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

This semester, I'm taking a class on the Sociology of gender. One of our first assignments is to change something about ourselves and our own 'gendered' behavior, and see how it makes us feel, or how it makes others react.

If you know me, then you know that I am neither particularly feminine nor masculine.

I wear makeup...sometimes. It's neither common nor uncommon to see me with a bit of eyeshadow or nail polish on - at least, not common or uncommon enough that one would feel the need to comment either way. My behavior regarding jewelry is similar.

I take karate, which I'm assuming would be considered a more 'masculine' hobby, and I take ballroom dance, which would likely be considered far more 'feminine'. I read sci-fi and fantasy novels, play video games and even knit on occasion. I enjoy sculpting with sculpey clay and (gasp!) my favorite colors are pink and lime green.

I'm not sure, being myself, how gendered my attitudes or behaviors are. I suppose I would have to ask a friend or, if you're even out there, my readers.

I would suppose that I am more feminine than masculine, but at the same time, I'm by no means a 'girly girl' and would have no idea how to go about changing my behaviors to be either more masculine or more feminine.

I'm hoping I won't have to grow some facial hair for this project, though I can grow eyebrows thick enough to make even the hairiest neanderthal jealous of my oh-so-sexy unibrow. What? You didn't need to know that?

Sweet and Functional

2009-07-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers, I found the cutest thing on Etsy.com. I know, I know, but I only window shop! As one of my customers always tells me, in his rather thick PA Dutch accent, "it's cheapah that way!"

Anyways, I found the cutest thing. Do you know what I found? Of course not, I didn't tell you yet.

Okay, okay - the suspense is killing you. I'll just come out and say it. Cupcake dishes. You know - cupcakes made out of clay that open up to become...well, dishes! You can store things in them. Both cute and functional. How much better can it get?

But you know me. I'm not entirely willing to buy something if I can buy the stuff to make it myself. Besides, I was pretty sure I could make something much cuter than what I'd found on Etsy (no offense to the lovely ladies who inspired the creation!)

So, scrounging through my neglected stores of art supplies, I found some super sculpey and pink studio sculpey. It didn't take me long to find my cupcake pan and start utilizing it as a make-shift mold, as I'm fairly incapable of making anything resembling a dish all on my lonesome, and I wasn't sure the sculpey would hold its shape without a bit of help, being as soft a product as it is.

It turned out cute, but not cute enough. It was lopsided and the icing top didn't want to sit properly on the top.

So, my dear readers, I cheated. Yes, you heard that right. I'm cheating. Or, rather, I'm using a cupcake mold set by Wilton to achieve the desired result. No, not that one exactly, but one with smaller cupcakes. What in the world would I put in such a ginormous cupcake?

Regardless, the above result is what I achieved with this mold. I like it, but it looks too...plastic-y. As it probably should - sculpey is plastic. However, for my next try, I think I'll snag myself some liquid sculpey, see if I can mix a paste and actually create an icing-like top.

Once I perfect them, I plan to make them as gifts for friends, or for anyone who requests them. I don't think I'd sell them - I'm not entirely sure Wilton wouldn't object to such activities.

And no, I don't cheat for most of my projects. I made a fairly cute Teweret and Bes with just my own two fingers, some tin foil, sculpey, paint and, of course, a picture. I also have some wire waiting to turn into some more Egyptian gods at some point.

But right now, I'm feeling more cute than archaic, so I'll probably stick with the cupcakes.

As I said, these are also functional pieces. You wouldn't want to put unwrapped food in them, like chocolates, but they're fine for holding jewelry, little bits of change, wrapped candies or the shrunken heads of your enemies, if you can get them that small.

Back To The Dojo

2009-07-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

I won't lie - I intended to head back around May, but that didn't happen. I, again, intended to head back in early June. Did that happen? Not so much.

It's hard to get back into things, to dust off the gi and polish up the weaponry. I've forgotten so much of what I learned, and what I have managed to retain is sadly covered in the fuzzy dust of years-old memories.

The worst part is that I don't really have a great excuse for it. I could tell you all about how small the dorm rooms are, and how ill-laid-out they are for kata. I could tell you about how I tried to practice in the gym once - how the girl at the desk said, "Oh, the dance room's free!" and, upon arriving in the room and finishing up some stretching, the R.A.D. class showed up and ruined my personal little party, how I skittered out with a couple choice cuss words under my breath and never tried that route again. If you know me, I wouldn't have to tell you how shy I am, and how there is no way I'm practicing kata or anything in any public spaces. Ever.

I could tell you all that, and it wouldn't matter because, the truth is, had I worked harder at finding somewhere and sometime to practice, I could have. It just would've taken a bit more dedication on my part, and maybe a bit more work on the part of the gym people to figure out free slots.

It was a very keen sense of shame, failure and self-defeat that kept me out of the dojo for the past two months. I won't ever say that shame is a bad thing - in fact, it can be quite a good thing! But I let it get the best of me, and it prevented me from two months of training, and it prevented me, more than a little bit, from attending summer camp.

So here's my advice for the day, as hypocritical as it is - don't let shame get the best of you. If you've fallen off the karate bicycle, maybe skinned your knee a bit, hop back on and go, anyway. Your friends will be happy to see you, your body will thank you, your mind will thank you and...really, what do you have to lose? Maybe you'll feel stupid for a few weeks...well, get used to it. You'll feel stupid again at some point, anyway, right?

Just go for it. Thank me by doing an extra kata. :)